Thursday 7 June 2018

Out Of Touch; Get Back To Yourself.

   In this past week, I've realised something.
   I'm completely out of touch with my body.
   My muscles are stiff - my calves feel like stone - my enthusiasm has dropped, I'm fretting about little things, I'm restless, I'm not sleeping well, and I've not bothered doing any yoga for weeks. This might sound like a rather desperate conclusion, but they're all little things that add up into something that matters.

   I mentioned last week that I had felt a drop in motivation for my training towards the end of the 10 weeks, but that I didn't think too much of it. Well, moving around towards the end of it I realised how stiff I felt. And, though it might sound strange, I was becoming very aware of the fact that I hadn't done a spinal twist in a long while - I'd knocked it off of my cool-down, which itself had become more disconnected, and I hadn't timed my stretches in ages. And that's not me saying 'I've not done it in a while', it was my body saying it. And yet I still didn't do a spinal twist because something else 'more important' kept coming up. Like the kettle had finished boiling. It was all too easily forgotten, and I was left with a stiff and rigid back most evenings.
   I used to have a body brush on Tuesday mornings, but I've not bothered with that in weeks. I used to do yoga in the afternoon and I've not done that, either. Little pick-me-ups like that have been pushed aside in favour of sitting around doing nothing, to be honest. I have no reasonable excuse for either.
   Pointless things are weedling into my brain, and they're keeping me up along with being unable to physically relax. I'm distracted, I'm worried, my crafting is lacklustre and even my passion for breakfast has dimmed.

   I noticed all this gradually, but it was driven home by my intention to set resistance aside for a couple of weeks and return to more explosive, high-intensity workouts instead. To, and I quote, 'postpone my weariness and remind me why I love resistance so much.' I thought about doing yoga instead, wondered why it had been so long, and recalled how good I felt and how much I enjoyed it back in the winter, rising early and flicking on the Christmas lights to do yoga before the sun rose, and then as spring crept in I would do it in the early light. Nevermind today's early sunrise, I've not done yoga in months. And it made me suddenly wistful. That's when everything fell into place.

   I have a plan. I'm going to take a whole day to get back to myself. I'm going to begin with a delicious and hopefully inventive breakfast (of porridge - what else?), try a few choice yoga videos I've never used before, have a nice body brush and gorgeously scented shower, then a nice healthy lunch, a face mask and magnesium foot soak in the garden with a book, a healthy dinner, and, quite importantly, write down what I want to get out of my workouts, how I intend to get it, and why I shouldn't be intimidated.

   I know how all of this sounds. I would scoff and shrug this off on someone else's blog as being melodramatic and attention-seeky, too. But since it's not someone else, I'm going to take it seriously, and, above all else, I'm announcing it for the good of others. If you've read this far, I guarantee you will feel like this at some point in your life whether you work out or not - you'll burn out on something else really important to you, perhaps career, arts or relationships. You'll focus more on what you want and how far you still have to go rather than on where you are and how far you've come. And if this is the case, when you finally realise it, this is what you do about it. Take a day off and do the things that make you happy, that relax you, that inspire you to get back on track with whatever it is that is most important to you, whatever has sprialled out of your control, and write down what it is that you want and how you plan to get there. In short: get back to basics. Get back to you.

   I'm thinking Tuesday. Join me, won't you?


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